Perfectionism is, in psychology, is a belief that perfection can and should be attained. In its pathological form, perfectionism is a belief that work or output that is anything less than perfect is unacceptable. Perfectionism might sound like an admirable trait, but it’s often a cause of anxiety, depression and ruptured relationships. I can tell you it is really stressful to be a perfectionist and tiring.
I have to say it, I have an issue with perfectionism. I avoid failure by avoiding doing, sadly my husband does too. Ouch.
As I was mucking around with my friend Diet Schmiet dietschmiet.wordpress.com talking about getting control back and racing her to loose 1kg by Wednesday weigh in I was struck by the fact that that is two days away AND if I loose I will feel dreadful and want to drown my pain and if I win I will want to celebrate (more than likely with liquorice). So if I cant do it properly, with injury and all, why bother at all. And that is the cry of the perfectionist. If I cant do it right why bother. Things become unbearably overwhelming. Loosing weight at this point is overwhelming as I have lost so much the last five kilos are so freaking hard I have gained weight so I do not sit in my last five kilos, should be easier. What the fuck am I thinking. Where the hell does that head space come from.
Now if you want to see a true procrastinating perfectionist come on over, the house is in CHAOS (as flylady says that is Cant Have Anyone Over Syndrome). If you are having this problem due to your perfectionism go visit this clever lady at http://www.flylady.net/ She has helped me to realise, and here is a biggy, JUST JUMP IN WHERE YOU ARE, which is not exactly what we are supposed to do with weight loss but with both weight loss and perfectionism you do need to set up routines. Exercise has to be part of the daily routine or it gets left out AND if you are truly to be organised you do need to plan those meals. So, here is the thing perfectionism gets in the way, you stop giving things a go, you stop trying, you are too worried about what others will say or think and everything seems so hard.
Tips for the perfectionist:
1) Define a goal
2) Break it down to managable parts
3) Plan plan plan your day/week to complete each part. Never take on more than you can chew (little bits at a time is better than nothing at all)
4) Give yourself permission to fail and recognise that sometimes there is no right or wrong.
5) Reflect on failure and success (at work I call this reflective practice and I help others go through the process because I see the value – for others!)
6) And if it is possible try to recognise the beauty in inperfection. So many of us are not perfect but we are beautiful, some from the inside out.
Now you can put this strategy into any part of your life, weight loss, fitness levels, housecleaning, parenting, anything.
OMG I love what I have come up with, I wonder if I can do it too?
